Fins and Feathers

 

Fins and Feathers

You know that feeling, right? When you are really, really wanting something - missing something - a little homesick, but you cannot quite put a finger on what it is? When you have what you want, aren't really searching for anything, and are at home with loved ones, but still... That strong pull for - something - that you cannot figure out.  I am not sure why, but it definitely strikes me every now and then. When it does, I think there must be a book I want to read, or a food I am hungry for... maybe a place I want to go... but I cannot think what it might be. 

Sometimes even when I am legitimately missing someone or feeling sorrowful for a loss in my life, still the mysterious ache that will not be satisfied shows up, and I know it is different than my longing for that lost love. 

I felt a twinge of that today when I was trying to think of ... something... I have a memory that is just a little too far away, and I cannot quite grasp it. I have had the privilege of spending time with both of my adult kids today, too, yet there is this reaching out inside. Is it a longing for Heaven? Is it the sweetness of autumn's beauty that foretells winter's cold? I don't know. 

12" x 12"

Painted with artist quality heavy-body acrylic paint on 1.5” deep gallery wrapped canvas

Edges painted black

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As I worked on finishing this painting yesterday, I was thinking of this verse from Proverbs.
Proverbs 4:9 She [wisdom] will place a garland of grace on your head;
she will give you a crown of beauty.”

 I chose to use a flowing S-shaped composition with gold circles and mica flakes with thoughts of a garland and crown. The first nine verses of this chapter talk a lot about wisdom and understanding, and I hoped to communicate the beauty of those things. 

But after all, I think the painting resembles a peacock, don't you? Or possibly fish in a fish pond.  The colors have become very rich and deep, and they feel iridescent even though most of them aren't. The painting in outside lighting looks dramatically different than it does indoors, too. I think I actually prefer the muted tones I see when it is indoors. 

Maybe today, wisdom and understanding are me recognizing my unsettledness. That mysterious longing. Maybe just resting with that little pull of muted memory and wistfulness is my garland of grace and crown of beauty for today.